Last joke in 2006 (estimated)

[Tik]

An international commission tries to find out the natural skills of people from various nations. After some pretesting they decide finalists are a German, an American and a Romanian. So they put each of three guys separately in a perfectly closed room, no windows, no tools, no nothing and, after receiving two iron spheres one inch in diameter they are told that they have 8 hours to do their best and produce the most value-added object they can from the two spheres.
First, the German presents the spheres cut bare hands into many many slices, shiny as mirrors and explains these shall be used in microchip industry as defect detectors.
The American is the second to show his products and he shows the two spheres shiny as you could not direct point them with your eyes, engraved bare hands, one with 99.999.99 on it and the other with 99.999.999.99, explaining that he can EBay them and get easily more than half their recommended user price.
The last one was sitting in the most distant corner of his test room when the commission arrived. You could see on his face that he is a little bit shy and embarrassed.
- can you show us what did you do with the two spheres? - one of the members of the commission asked.
- unfortunately not, replies the Romanian, errrr…., you know, trying to do something I broke one of the spheres.
- So, what with the other one?
- Well…, you know…, I think I lost the other one.

[John w]

Hi Tik,

So the Roamanians are like the Brits eh?

Looking at your picture Tik, I see you have changed your appearance. I remember you asked if you should have a crazy hair style when we join forces and become Britomanians. There really was no need to have reconstuctive surgery as well. Having said that, I think they did a great job as I cannot see the joins!

John w

[Tik]

It wasn't surgery, I took some pills.
I hope I can still be part of the team with my new look;

[Mick P]

Tik

As long as you don't bite the rock chick your part of the team.....

Mind you if your hungry,.. well what the * I'm sure she will grow another arm.

[Tik]

Mick, I'm a little bit stuck with your message, since you've posted it I'm reading and rereading, but I'm not sure I understood 100% of it. Important is, I'm still part of the team.

[Mick P]

Tik Your right the important thing is you are part of the team but if you ever meet the rock chick you will understand

Best wishes Mick

[Tik]

enlightened a bit: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Rock-Chick

looking for the chicks I found out some ideas for the Brito-R team, session 2007:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 7695427728

[John w]

Hi Tik,

Crazy guys! It was fun to watch but I don't think I will be doing any of those stunts! I have difficulty staying upright and keeping the tyres in contact with the road!

Did you spot Mick P in the clip? I am sure it was him.......


Cheers ~ John w

[Mick P]

Eagle eyes John i thought my disguise would work!!!!
What chance have i got now to hide from the rock chick.

I was the tall good looking one??

Yes i know it was the short fat one i will have to keep working on it

[Tik]

John and Mary are in deep love. Problem is, John's mother is against Mary for some reasons only known to her. So, when John brings the subject at dinner, mother is arguing:
- Dear John, in these days of oil crisis, when prices are spiraling upwards, not Mary is the one for you. You need a simple girl, hardworking and keeping the maintenance costs under control.
Mary heard all that as she was waiting for John outside their house, under the window.

Next evening when John went to see Mary, found her laid on her back in the grass, eyes wide open and deep breathing.
- What happened, should I call a doctor? asked John.
- No, no, I’m just eating. says Mary.
- Eating? What are you eating?
- Didn’t you know? I eat only air; it’s the only food that fits me.
Hei, this was the girl then. John decided to marry her, it was as economical as mother suggested.
So they had a nice wedding party and, close to midnight, after going to bed with John, Mary sits at the table, eating some grill with one hand and pushing into her mouth some fries with the other. John is staring at her, without voice for a few seconds, then:
- Mary, you told me you’re eating only air...
- John dear - now that I’m punctured – how could I keep the air inside?

[Mick P]

Deep in the desert The army camp welcomes a new commander on inspection the commander sees a camel tied up behind a tent he said to the sergeant "what is the camel doing there get rid of it at once" . The sergeant replies "begging you pardon sir its very lonely out here in the desert miles away from anywhere and the men use Matilda to help relieve there urges". The commander replies "who is Matilda" the sergeant replies "Matilda is the camel sir"....
"Very odd very odd indeed...... OK the camel can stay" replies the commander

Well after a month or so the commander starts getting some urges thinking of his lonely wife far away at home until one night he can wait no longer...

So of he goes to the back of the tent to see Matilda where he starts stroking her and it not long before he is aroused and one thing leads to another and he is soon doing things to Matilda that he should be doing with his wife..

Well with all the noise from the commander and Matilda its not long before the sergeant goes to the back of the tent where he sees the commander and Maltilda in full swing. Then he bellows out "GOOD LORD SIR" the commander replies "sergeant I am a man just like the other men I have needs"............... Yes sir replies the sergeant "But the other men ride the camel into the local village"

[Tik]

Lots of strange things happen in the desert; Matilda has a husband working in rent-a-camel job, meanwhile, one guy driving on a highway hears at car's radio:
- Attention to all drivers, there is one person driving in opposite direction on the highway.

Our man leaves the driving wheel free, puts both his hands onto his head and speaks to himself:
- Only one? it's not only one, there are hundreds.

------

[John w]

A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says "Audi!"

[GID]

I think hiieeeeehaaaaa

cu gid

[Tik]

A boy writes to Santa:
'Please, Santa, bring me a brother'
Santa writes back to the boy:
'Dear boy, in order to fulfill your request, please send me your mother'