Bulldog rider in UK needs help

[Big Ade]

This guy in UK has a problem, can anybody help?
I have suggested what I can but I fear this is too little.
This is the link and the subject is "seat" http://www.eboards4all.com/240386/index.html

Ade

[K9Rider]

[aikisurf]

Maybe one of the following advices may help:
1) Hedgehog leather is not a suitable material for seat covers
2) "Mother-in-law-cushion" may be organic but is also not a suitable seating
3) Don't lash your tank bag with any genital piercings
4) Don't drive balls to the wall
Warm regards,
Robert