Not so shaggy dog

[Big Ade]

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Phew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

"Where's that * monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

[WullDee]

Ade,
good to see you are still here - that's not a bad one, can also be told in german!

[Big Ade]

Waldi,

I often look at the forum to see if there is anyone else in UK contributing. I will post some more jokes and none of them will be woke censored.

Is it the same in Germany as here? The woke brigade here have succeeded in removing words from our vocabulary, we must now refer to the removed words as the "*" word. There is even a law in Scotland where if you say something EVEN IN YOUR OWN HOUSE and anyone is offended (by hearing it or being told about it), you are guilty of a crime and you will be prosecuted! Free speech has ended. In many ways I am glad I'm nearing the end of my life because my world is being hijacked by all the wrong people, I just feel so sorry for my 4 children and 9 grandchildren. Their world is not going to be the nice one I have enjoyed.

What's with the stick on beard? It makes you look old.

Keep safe my friend.

Ade