Advice for a retired husband

[Big Ade]

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, we must try not to shout at them. This is because some women are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My friend’s name is Ron. Let me relate how he handled this situation with his wife, Carol. When he retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for the extra income and for the health and social benefits that he needed. Shortly after she started working, he noticed she was beginning to show her age.

He would usually get home from the golf club at about the same time that she arrived home from work. Although she knew how hungry he was, she almost always said that she had to rest for half an hour or so before she started making dinner. He didn't yell at her. Instead, he told her to take her time and just wake him when she had his dinner on the table.

He generally had his lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out was not an option for them in the evening. At the end of his day he was ready for some good home-cooked food when he walked through the door at home.

She used to wash the dishes as soon as they had finished eating but now it was not unusual for the dirty dishes to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. He did what he could by diplomatically reminding her several times that the dishes won't clean themselves. He knew that she really appreciated this because it did seem to motivate her to get them done before she came to bed.

Complaining was another symptom of her aging. For example, she would say that it was difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. Instead of chastising her he just smiled and offered her encouragement. He told her to stretch the tasks out over two, or even three days. In that way, she wouldn't have to rush around so much. He also reminded her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. He liked to think tact was one of his strong points.

He noticed too that when she was doing simple house repairs or gardening jobs, she seemed to think she needed more rest periods. She even had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. Again, he tried not to make a scene. He’s a fair man; instead he told her to fix herself a nice big cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well bring him one too.

I know that Ron probably looks like a saint to you in the way that he supports Carol. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women can be as they get older.

However, Chaps, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing this has been well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after I had published this letter.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing. The turn-ups on his trousers were halfway up his thighs. A sledge hammer was lying nearby.

His wife Carol was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 9 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting her defence that my friend Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

[Blubber]

Thank you Ade.
Now I know what I have done wrong for a long time

Blubber